Peter Pan Meets Rusty Jobson
by bluefa1ry
Summary: Peter Pan has always gotten whatever girl he wanted, but when he meets Rusty Jobson, an attractive, but not too bright human, will all that change?
1. You Can Fly

Chapter 1: You Can Fly  
  
"Good night, Rusty."  
  
"Good night, Mom."  
  
Mrs. Jobson turned out the light and sighed. Her son was 17 years old, for God's sake. How much longer would she have to tuck him in at night?  
  
Rusty rolled over in his bed- he pondered the meaning of life. He came up with the deep conclusion of. . . are you ready for this?  
Cheese. Outside Rusty's window, lurking in the shadows, there was a boy. His name was Peter Pan. Peter didn't have a mother- he used too, but she left. . . and grew up. Yes, Peter was older than his mother Wendy. . . but not much older.  
  
Peter watched Rusty's figure. The window was open, and he flew into the room. Peter landed and looked around. Tink went to look at Rusty. She remained by Rusty's face for a long time. Peter surveyed his surroundings. There were deer heads everywhere. Some clear bottles on the desk that had a lot of dust on it. Peter went to drink the clear liquid.  
  
"Ew," Peter said, spitting it out. "Tastes like Wendy's medicine."  
  
"Yo! What are you doing in here?" Rusty said, waking up. The sudden noise scared Tinkerbell, and she quickly flew out the open window, staying close enough to help if Rusty proved to be a threat to Peter.  
  
"Yo?" Peter repeated.  
  
"Yo," Rusty said, lifting his chin so he did his infamous 'yo thing.' Peter slowly mimicked the move.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Rusty said getting up. Peter backed up into the air instinctively.  
  
"WHOA!" Rusty said, amazed.  
  
"What?" Peter said, slightly annoyed. All he wanted was to look around the room. He had no intention of talking to this human. He was kind of jealous of Rusty. Peter didn't have a mother, unless you counted Wendy. But, honestly, Wendy wasn't that great of a mother. All she did was tell stories. She didn't thimble any of Peter's cuts from playing Battle. Rusty's mom did all that.  
  
"You can fly!!!" Rusty said. "Can you teach me?"  
  
Just then, a small, but bright, light flew into the room.  
  
"Look, a firefly!!!!!" Rusty said.  
  
"It's not a firefly.she's a pixie!" Peter spat.  
  
"Amazing!"  
  
Tinkerbell flew up to Rusty and landed on his hand. She stared at his face some more. He was even more attractive when he was awake. It must have been the nightlight accenting his features.  
  
"TINK!" Peter snapped as he flew up to Rusty's gun cabinet. "Get over here, now."  
  
"Wow. Can you teach me to fly?" Rusty asked, again.  
  
Peter and Tinkerbell looked at each other and grinned. They loved this game.  
  
"Sure. It's easy. Try it."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Get up here."  
  
Rusty climbed up to the top of his gun cabinet.  
  
"Now, what do you think you do?" Peter asked.  
  
"Well, I've seen birds do it. All they do is jump off the trees and flap their wings."  
  
Peter stifled his laughter. "That's pretty much how it works."  
  
"Okay"  
  
Rusty jumped from the cabinet, flapped his muscular arms, and fell straight down onto the floor.  
  
Peter couldn't contain his laugher anymore. Tinkerbell flew down to see if Rusty was okay.  
  
Rusty got up and rubbed his head. "I don't think that that's how you're supposed to do it."  
  
"Did you think happy thoughts?"  
  
"No."  
  
"That's why."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Rusty climbed onto his desk this time. The gun cabinet was too high when there was a big chance that he would fall again. Which he did.  
  
This was all a big game to Peter, but Tinkerbell was getting slightly angry. She didn't want to see Rusty get hurt very badly.  
  
Peter sighed. "Oh yeah, I forgot something." He grabbed Tinkerbell gently by the wings and shook pixie dust on Rusty.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Pixie dust. Anyone can fly. All you need is faith, trust, and pixie dust. You have to think happy thoughts too. Bad thoughts weigh you down."  
  
As Peter said this, Rusty started floating. By the time that Peter noticed that he wasn't in front of him anymore, Rusty was on the ceiling.  
  
"Wow. What were you thinking about?"  
  
"Kathy"  
  
"I think I know her."  
  
"She's awesome."  
  
Tinkerbell didn't like Rusty talking about anyone other than herself. She flew up to Rusty and chimed in his ear.  
  
"It's great that you can fly now. If you want, you can come with us, back home. We have these pirates that want to kill us. If you came, they would see how big your muscles were and they wouldn't threaten us anymore. You can sleep in Wendy's old bed."  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!" Peter cut her off. Even if he liked Rusty, NO ONE was going to sleep in Wendy's bed, unless it was Wendy.  
  
"Don't make her stop," Rusty said. "I like the sound."  
  
"Wait, did you understand her?"  
  
"Yeah! Only an idiot couldn't hear her ringing! It's like a." Rusty thought of a word that he could use "tinkling bell."  
  
Peter smiled. Having this human in Never Land might be fun. 


	2. Packing

Chapter 2: Packing  
  
  
  
""What are you doing?" Peter asked, abruptly.  
  
  
  
"Packing," Rusty said, as if Peter was stupid.   
  
  
  
"You don't pack pictures to go to Never Land!" Peter looked at one of the pictures disgustedly. "Who the bloody hell is this, anyway?"  
  
  
  
"HEY! That's my girlfriend!"  
  
  
  
"O," Peter laughed quietly, and then he noticed that Tinkerbell was on the bed, with her head in her hands. She didn't look as bright as she did just a few seconds ago. Peter knew exactly what was going on.   
  
  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it. You're much prettier than she is. She probably used to be fat," Peter whispered to her.   
  
  
  
Tink smiled gratefully, but her light still wasn't as bright as it was before.  
  
  
  
"Hey," Peter said enthusiastically, "He's got a HUGE mirror over there!"  
  
  
  
Tink's light glowed brighter than ever as she quickly flew over to the huge full length mirror and admired herself.   
  
  
  
Peter laughed, and continued to look through Rusty's suitcase.  
  
  
  
"O MY GOD!" Peter screamed, pulling a gun out of the bag. "You CAN'T bring guns to Never Land, either!!!"  
  
  
  
"I take my gun everywhere. Rusty Jr. is more than just a gun, he's family!"  
  
  
  
"NOT TO NEVER LAND! It would be like…" Peter struggled to find a metaphor that he could actually understand. "…like…taking SpongeBob to Sandy's house without a water helmet! He would DIE!"  
  
  
  
"O my gosh! I'm so sorry!" Rusty exclaimed, taking Rusty Jr. out of Peter's hands and gently putting it away. "Not this time, little buddy," he whispered.  
  
  
  
Peter shook his head. He felt very proud of himself. If he was going to take Rusty to Never Land, he had to virginize him as much as possible. There was no way that the Lost Boys would even talk to someone with a gun. Guns were too close to cannons and only pirates used cannons.   
  
  
  
"Well, what can I take?" Rusty asked, interrupting Peter's thoughts.  
  
  
  
"NOTHING!" Peter shouted, "You don't pack ANYTHING!"  
  
  
  
"Sh!" Rusty clamped his hand over Peter's mouth. "I think my mom is coming!"  
  
  
  
"Russell Jobson, what in the world is going on in here?" Mrs. Jobson yelled. She opened the door and looked inside the room. "Why is there a suitcase on your bed?"  
  
  
  
"Uh…" Rusty started, "I couldn't sleep so I was looking at pictures. Then I realized that…uh…they weren't very good pictures. So uh…I decided to put them where I wouldn't have to look at them…"  
  
  
  
Rusty looked around the room to see where Peter was. If his mom found him, she would blow up. He saw Peter on the ceiling directly above his mom. Tinkerbell was hiding in the lamp.   
  
  
  
"Okay," Mrs. J said. "Give me a kiss goodnight and I'll leave you alone!"  
  
  
  
Peter almost fell off the ceiling from laughing so hard. Even Tinkerbell's light flickered from her quiet snickering.  
  
  
  
"Mom…" Rusty looked up and saw Peter, "Mom, I'm really tired…can't I do it later?"  
  
  
  
"No. No boy is too old to give his momma love!"  
  
  
  
"Okay," Rusty said hesitantly. He closed his eyes and pecked her lightly and quickly on her cheek.   
  
  
  
"Good night!" Mrs. Jobson said happily as she closed the door.  
  
  
  
Peter watched the door close then slowly lowered himself from the fan. "You know, we don't have room for momma's boys in Hangman's Tree."  
  
  
  
"I AM NOT A MOMMA'S BOY!"  
  
  
  
"Sure…and I can't fly."  
  
  
  
"Wanna fight?"  
  
  
  
Peter scoffed. "You're joking, right?"  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"Okay, codfish" Peter pulled out his dagger. Rusty ran to his gun cabinet. "WAIT A SECOND! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If I fight with a sword, then YOU have to fight with a sword too."  
  
  
  
Rusty muttered something incoherently.  
  
  
  
"What was that?" Peter pressed.  
  
  
  
"I don't know how to swordfight." Rusty said softly.  
  
  
  
"I kind of figured. That's the first thing we'll teach you when we get home."  
  
  
  
Rusty sat on his bed. He picked up the picture of his girlfriend.   
  
  
  
Peter peered over Rusty's shoulder. "Where was this?"  
  
  
  
"Homecoming."  
  
  
  
"No offense, but your girlfriend looks like a …" Peter whispered something in Rusty's ear.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, a lot of people have told me that."  
  
  
  
Tinkerbell came out of the lamp. She looked around the room some more. The place looked so familiar to her, but she just couldn't place it. It was a huge room for just one person. It looked like it could fit three beds, and still have room to play. She flew over to a box with two boxes on either side of it. The middle box had a lot of buttons. She pushed one. Loud noise came out of the two outer boxes. Tinkerbell took a step backwards and landed in a drawer.   
  
  
  
"Ouch…" Tinkerbell chimed.   
  
  
  
She looked around the drawer. Even that seemed familiar. It was full of needles and thread and thimbles. Where had she seen this before? She chimed for Peter to come and look, but he was busy helping Rusty unpack. 


End file.
